First Conversations

Do first impressions really matter? If we have an encounter with someone and they reveal some really wierd things about themselves, is this an indication of who they are as people? I have been thinking about this since last night when I had a "first conversation" with someone I recently met. It seemed to be going okay for a while, and then he started dropping some bombs on me...at least I think they were bombs, but perhaps not.

He's 35...9 years older than me...no big deal. He has two children, one seventeen, the other four. The first child he had young (obviously), and he kept referring to her as a "mistake that he's now paying for." Are children mistakes? Or am I reading too much into this? Could he just mean that getting a girl pregnant at such a young age was a mistake? And if this was what he meant, would he still refer to it as a mistake 17 years later? And what is he paying for??? He didn't go into much detail, and I felt uncomfortable asking. I guess I felt more uncomfortable that he referred to her as a mistake. He broke up with the second child's mother while she was pregnant because they argued all the time. Did I miss something? Aren't some women extremely hormonal and moody when they're pregant? Isn't it common that women are not themselves when they have another being growing inside of them? Okay...it gets better. Keep in mind this was our FIRST conversation, and we haven't been on a date yet. He continually talked about "relationships." Not former relationships...it seems like he was talking about a "relationship" between him and me. He even said that he was looking to get married in the near eventual future, and asked me if I was looking to get married in the near eventual future. Now, I am in agreeance that if you are looking to get married soon, you should have this conversation with the person you're INVOLVED WITH, but is that common discussion for two people who are talking for the very first time? Don't you try to get to know someone before you ask if they want to get married?

He also asked if I had time to spend with other people because I seem to be so busy. I said that I am always open to opening up my circle of friends, and he was like "no, are you ready to start spending your time with ONE person. Okay...I can't spend all of my fucking time with just one person. That's not very practical...RIGHT???? And again, why would he bring this up the first time we're talking?

Later we talked about, rather I talked about the hunger epidemic, which I'm very passionate about. I don't know how we really got on this topic, but I proceeded to tell him about this eye opening experience I had with a hungry man on the subway one time...it was a very touching encounter, and actually brought me to tears on the train. When I told him that he started LAUGHING. What did I miss???? I tried to let him know I was serious, and he kept laughing. What is funny goddammit? I don't get it. What does that tell me about this guy?

I'm trying to keep in mind that this was a first conversation, but it kind of "wierded me out." Children that are mistakes, exclusivity, possibly marrying a person you don't even know, and laughing at a man who was starving...all in a first conversation. Are these things indicative of anything I should be shying away from? Or should I give this guy a second chance to try to redeem himself? The first few weeks of dating/talking to someone are oftentimes so magical...there was absolutely no magic for me. Should I try to find the magic, or just move on??? Shouldn't this be easier?