Thursday, January 27, 2005

17 Pound Baby and Being "Alone"

So today my friend sent me a link to an article about a baby born in Brazil that weighed 17 pounds. He's the biggest Brazilian baby ever born. Wait...the biggest BRAZILIAN baby? Is it not the biggest baby ever born in the world? How is that even possible? And why would doctors let her pregnancy go that long? I can't even imagine toting around 17 pounds of fetus. You have to visit the link. It is incredible. Just click on the title of this blog, and you will be taken to the link.

Before I read her email, she and I were discussing dating the wrong men...ALL THE TIME. What is it about the people that aren't for us that attract us so much? Why is it so difficult to let someone go that is obviously not right for us for whatever reason? She was saying that it would be easier to "dismiss" this one guy if she had someone else that could occupy her time. From experience, I know that having someone else makes letting someone go easier, but why do we put ourselves through that? Is it so bad to be alone? Speaking as someone who as been "alone" for quite some time, I am aware that it can be lonely and depressing at times, but it is bearable. I wonder, do we need someone else to make us feel complete? That's hard to admit I guess, especially when 30 is in the not so distant future. We want to be independent (well most of the people I know), but we constantly talk about relationships. And I don't mean just "friendly" relationships, but long term, committed relationships with a "significant other." Is "one" really the magic number as Jill Scott says, or are we looking for the magic to occur with "two?"

4 comments:

raina mast said...

i think it's lonelier in new york than other spots-- there are so many people around you, but you feel like crap because not a one is good enough, not a one has the cajones to talk to you if there may be an attraction, and everyone is so disposable because there i such infinite opportunity. anyway, yeah, it's lonely, but that's not enough of a reason to date the wrong person. when i was 22 it was. i had time to spare, shit to learn. i wanted to "work" on relationships to make them better, not give up on them. now i'm older, not OLD, but i'm old enough to rather be alone than waste my time on lukewarm, tepid shit. it's gotta be a pretty near perfect fit. no more struggles for me. no more trying to change people minds and make shoes fit that don't. just let people be and if they happen to be the perfect match for me at some point, it will all work out and we'll never be lonely for the rest of our lives.

raina mast said...

i think it's lonelier in new york than other spots-- there are so many people around you, but you feel like crap because not a one is good enough, not a one has the cajones to talk to you if there may be an attraction, and everyone is so disposable because there i such infinite opportunity. anyway, yeah, it's lonely, but that's not enough of a reason to date the wrong person. when i was 22 it was. i had time to spare, shit to learn. i wanted to "work" on relationships to make them better, not give up on them. now i'm older, not OLD, but i'm old enough to rather be alone than waste my time on lukewarm, tepid shit. it's gotta be a pretty near perfect fit. no more struggles for me. no more trying to change people minds and make shoes fit that don't. just let people be and if they happen to be the perfect match for me at some point, it will all work out and we'll never be lonely for the rest of our lives.

GirlNextDoor said...

New york is the lonliest city in the world. Imagine this: you're on a 14 mile island with millions of people and yet you have a hard time meeting anyone. What kinds of world is this. But seriously, I feel you ladies. I definitely crave a warm body in my bed to cuddle with. Sometimes I just need some damn affection. And it becomes frustrating. So, in hopes of finding this "ideal man" we hunt and hunt and find all the boo-boos on this island. The question is: when is it just okay to be alone? I feel stuck in this perpetual cycle of fearing judgement when I'm not with someone. But damn, can I just enjoy the lonely nights without wondering if something is wrong with me? And can I please pull a man of some substance. I've decided to screen better. Cause seriously, when we start dating, it's really only the representative we date. I get tired of the representative I date for a few weeks turning out to be a false representation of the real man. I want to go on a date with someone who's representative matches the actual person so that I don't feel like I've been tricked into some madness.
But I'm rambling. So I do believe there is a magic 1, but we need not see that in every man we meet. We always jump to conclusions and start blabbing to our girls that he's the one when it turns out he's not even on the top ten list fa sho. And as much as I want to be independent, I'm looking for mine and I'm only 22.

Teaching Mom said...

Here's the song I mentioned in the original posting. Raina, can you translate the first line...I figured out the others.

No hay nadie mas que yo,
Uno es el numero magico
En vida y en muerte,
Uno es todo
Comprende
If I multiply 2 times 2 is it really, really 4 me
La [x6]
And if I add 5 to get 9 minus 8 that just leaves me
Me [x8]
So many times I define my pride
Through somebody else's eyes (La da da, la da)
Then I looked inside and found my own stride,
I found the lasting love for me
If I'm searching for my spirituality
Passionately I must begin with me

There's just me...
One is the magic number [x2]

If I add myself unto myself multiplied times
You and yours and you again
There's just me
And if I divide 8 billion, 48 trillion, 98 zillion
There is, there is just me
If I subtract one plus me to the 5th degree,
Use any theorem
There's just me

There's just me...
One is the magic number [x2]

Me, me, me, me...