In my short life as a blogger, I have noticed one thing. I get the most comments (and some of the most interesting comments) whenever I talk about sex and relationships. Are those the two areas where we can really articulate ourselves fully? I have received comments on my more "serious" blogs, but not nearly as many as I get for the ones that pertain to sex, foreplay, and the other questionable encounters between men and women. Be that as it may, I appreciate and fully enjoy all of the comments. You give me something to think about, and a lot of times something to laugh at.
And so, without further ado, let's talk sex...
18 MONTHS!!! 18 months of toys and dreams. 18 months without knowing first hand about funky or sweet spunk?!? 18 months without orgasmic bliss that's not the result of my own action...wait, that one may be longer than 18 months ;) 18 months of celibacy. MAN...that's a long time hunh? Who does that? For a while it was difficult, then bearable, and now the difficulty of abstaining is back! And it couldn't have come back at a more inopportune time. The city is great; I have thoroughly enjoyed myself since I've been here, but as soon as I begin thinking about really "getting out there" in order to "get some" I hear a very disturbing announcement on the news "A new strain of HIV has been found in New York City." What??? Only one case has been discovered, and this new strain "is resistant to three of the four types of anti-viral drugs that combat the disease, and progresses from infection to full-blown AIDS in two or three months...The normal time of progression from infection to full-blown AIDS in an untreated patient is about nine years...For someone treated with anti-viral drugs, the average progression to disease from infection is 11 years, with death occurring within an average six years." My fucking luck! Now, this may not be alarming to your average person that REALLY needs some after an 18 month hiatus, but this is not the case for your girl. This news definitely creates a sense of paranoia, and I feel silly even asking if this feeling is legitimate. Then with all of the commercials about AIDS not having a face, I'm practically being scared out of ever doing it again! Okay, I AM exaggerating a bit, but the shit is kinda getting to me. Makes me think about a previous blog about why people lie. People are deceivers...shit if people find it difficult telling someone they have funky spunk, how difficult would it be to share information about infection? Am I really ready to put my health in the hands of a really thin, fragile piece of latex? After 18 months of yearning, and yearning, and yearning some more, and reminiscing over and over and over again, I don't remember sex being THAT damn good =) As much as I want and need to get laid, I don't know if I'm ready for the risk.
Is it just meant for me to NOT get any?
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3 comments:
I remember going out before AIDS. Life and love were GOOD and in full swing. The sexual revolution was firing on all cylinders and nobody had a care in the world. The advent of birth control had finally released women to express their sexuality on a level of aggressiveness and fearlessnes that for the first time ever rivaled men's. The fact that this was occuring for the first time in history helped bring even more women into the sexual arena. Consequently, the checks and balances which had been in play for eons between men and women regarding the development of relationships was truly set back on its heels.Prior to then the interplay had generally been set up so that girls would only put out when, and if, they found someone they could rely on to marry them in the event they got pregnant. Divorce was pretty much not in society's vocabulary.
The pill changed all that much to the absolute joy of everyone everywhere. But only for 10 or 15 years (which was awesome if you happened to be horny then)
Then Herpes reared its ugly head and put a degree of suspicion on the free for all. But when AIDS came into the picture, I found a girlfriend almost immediately. Since I had been dating a LOT and the women I had been seeing had also been dating with TOTAL abandon (and virtually all of them "unprotectedly"), I was a bit nervous, and since I had a young child I found it especially neccessary to stick around.
So basically I have literally felt your fear. Even though I dont advocate paranoia, I do feel good common sense helps. And like it or not, the choices you have are kind of relegated to the balances that were in play decades ago.(I feel that a lot of society's return to more conservative politics and values is because of AIDS.) Try to meet people who are reasonable and responsible like your grandmother did.
I feel really lucky I had already had the chance to sow my wild oats by the time AIDS came out.
Bein horny aint what it used to be.
sex drives the internet like nothing else... think about it, would anyone have made the effort for quicker downloads and glorious graphics without porn being the driving force? i think not :)
good luck on your quest... 18 months would *kill* me! though i suppose if you invest in some good toys the men can be irrelevant... (and no scary disease issues, natch!) :P
i think acutally thinking and talking about sex keeps most people more entertained than the actual act. sure it's fun, but talking about it, especially with a group of friends over one or several bottles of wine can be riotous! but anyhow, i'm more interested in the other subject area of this blog. Being both an HIV/AIDS researcher and young woman in the current social climate has offered lots of interesting insight into the 'crisis' and how it is affecting each of us. First of all, the media is KNOWN for sensationalising just about everything. DO NOT believe most of what you read until you have done your homework. Follow the trail, figure out where this info has come from and then make an educated decision about whether or not they have presented sufficient evidence for their claim. A couple of months ago, an article was published espousing a cure for AIDS, but after hunting down the original research source, it turned out to be completely miscontruyed from the original research report! So before you panic, make sure you've got all the facts!
As humans were are inevitbaly afrad of things we dont understand, and to be honest we may never fully understand every aspect of the virus and the lives of those it affects. My adivce: dont panic, get tested, protect yourself (male condoms are not the only way, the lesser known and less used female version works too) and make a concerted effort to learn more about the disease as well as the people living with it.
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