I was reading a friend's blog today, and in an entry titled Dating 101, she begins to examine the meaning of the term "dating" in today's time. She feels that when people say they are dating, they are implying that they are exclusive. I totally disagree with this. Dating for me means that you are casually involved with a single person, or maybe even multiple people. But her question, brings about some very valid points. What do we say when we're dating someone exclusively? "I'm with someone?" The days of "going steady," "going out," or even "going with" are a little outdated. It seems like we are so confused about this whole dating thing, that we've even forgotten basic definitions. I hate when single people say they're single just because they don't have a partner/lover/boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever. Isn't single a marital status? Even if we do have a boyfriend/girlfriend, aren't we still single??? This is complicated...no wonder we have a hard time defining our relationships; there are so many possibilities, we don't know what to call those we're involved with, and without definitions, it's inevitable that people will be on different pages as far as their personal relationships go. And yeah, many of you may say that's why communication is the key...but even that shit can be difficult sometimes. It's hard for us to really put our expectations out there, especially when we're really into someone and don't want to ruin the possibility before it even develops. So I say, we need a glossary for dating. I have come up with a few definitions, but I will definitely need your assistance. Please feel free to add/edit what I have come up with so far.
Single - not married (if you are dating/seeing/fucking someone, and are NOT married to them, you're still single)
Dating - going out on "dates" with people; like the movies, theater, dinner, etc. Dating is casual...no commitment is involved in dating. One can date multiple persons at a time. Oh, and there may be a little "action" involved in dating.
Boo - term for someone you are dating, and fucking. One is not exclusive with a boo, but things are getting a little serious, and a boo is potentially the next person you will date exclusively.
Friend - someone that you can go out with, confide in, and do your most embarrassing things around, but have not had sex with. You are not really sexually attracted to your friends.
Friend with benefits/"Special" Friend - someone who meets all of the criterion for "friend" with one exception...you are sexually attracted to this person, and you DO perform sexual favors for this person, and those favors are always returned! Sex does NOT ruin this type of friendship; there is a reciprocated understanding between the two of you. There is no drama!!! You are not concerned if this person is seeing/fucking someone else. The two of you just help each other out when it's needed!!!
Man/Girl - someone you are dating exclusively. You should consider this person a friend...WITH BENEFITS, but are concerned if someone else is in the picture.
Ass (or piece of ass) - someone that you sleep with, but have absolutely NOTHING to do with outside of the bedroom (or wherever you like to do it)
Bootie Call - now we all should know what this is, and if you are in denial...wake the fuck up. A bootie call is not a relationship, you are not dating a bootie call, him/her is not your man/girl. A bootie call is a piece of ass...probably recurring ass. You may talk to this person a little more than you talk to a piece of ass, but don't get it confused...it is ASS. Spur of the moment ass, but ass none-the-less. And if you are a female who responds to bootie calls, you are considered to be a stunt, broad, ho, or breezy (just a little ghetto slang for y'all).
Convenience/Trouble (courtesy of my 1st, and that's all i'm gonna say) - if you don't have someone, but your piece of "ass" is involved with someone, and the times you share are enjoyable, you have what is called convenience. Convenience can be a very good thing; neither party has expectations of the other. There is a caveat to this sort of relationship. If "feelings" between you and your "convenient" one begin to arise, you may now have what we call "trouble" on your hands. Then, the whole situation is fucked up. So, if you are heading towards convenience, just beware the possibilites that may lie ahead.
Already!
So, what am I missing? And, am I wrong about any of these definitions???
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51 comments:
the other night you used the term "old faithful" to describe someone in the past that ended on good terms, someone who is more respected than a bootie call, someone you maybe care for or see potential in, but forwhatever reason comes with the same level of no strings attachedness because neither party is emotionally mixed up or has any expectations. are there other terms for this other than your "old faithful"?
a man knows that i am exclusively dating him when i start affectionately refering to him as my bitch.
I don't even know if there's an answer anymore, but your definitions make a helluva lot of sense. I'm still wondering when everything became so complicated. Remember the "I like you, do you like me...check yes or no" days? It was simple. You didn't even have to ask for clarification. If you checked yes, you were an official couple. Nowadays, you can still be considered single if you're dating someone exclusively. What's the deal?
Another one that I’ve heard from men is Shorty, now I personally do not like this as a pet name however it’s still used and we must add this to your definitions. To me shorty means someone that you “cut for” and care about but definitely not exclusive with.
Here’s another question what do we call an out of town fling…..this person is someone that you may have seen multiple time but live in another city/state/country. Surely they would not be considered a botty call because you can’t just pop up on this person. Hmmmm what would they be called.
In response to TT: "Shorty" should be added to the list; I asked my kids what they call someone they are dating, and they said "Shorty" as well, but I didn't ask them to get too specific; didn't really want to get that deep into this conversation with my kids =) And can you explain a little more what "cut for" means?
As far as the out-a-town fling, I think you could put this person in one of the other categories that we have defined. Yeah, they're definitely not a booty call, but they could be a friend w/benefits, convenience, or even a piece of ass. I think it just depends on the situation.
And my darling queen, you DID go there, didn't you??? Not sure if we want to define the out-a-town fling as that...just yet anyway =)
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