I like to think I am soooo progressive in my thinking sometimes. I don't give in to all of the gender norms shit like little boys who play with dolls or wear pink are effeminate, or that little girls have to be passive, quiet princesses in order to be feminine. I won't read my own children fairy tales until we can have an intellectual conversation about their meaning. As an English teacher, I want to introduce my kids to the "world" of literature and not just the canon that has been taught for eons, and as I teach, I want show the value that lies in those texts. My world does not begin and end with my immediate circle of family and friends; I am and hope to continue to work towards some sort of common good for all mankind. I try to be reasonable and not emotional. And on, and on. But there is one area of my life where I would like to think that I am progressive, but may not be...that area is language; specifically oppressive/degrading language. And even more specifically, the words nigger/nigga and bitch.
I must admit that I used the term nigga quite frequently in my past, and I find that when I am around adults who use this term, it seems to make its way out of my own mouth. At the same time, I am trying to teach my kids about the origins of the word nigga so that they may discontinue using it. Yeah, the word has become mainstream, much like fairy tales. Fairy tales were not meant for children, and because now we read them to kids, we are in a way presenting ridiculous gender norms that can do more harm than good...in my own personal opinion. And while the term nigga is embraced, it is still the root of a lot of controversy, and can ignite intense emotions if used by the "wrong" person. So, in my classroom, the word is banned...but I still sometimes use it in my own personal life. Does that make me a hypocrite???
And now...bitch. A very degrading term when used to refer to women. At one time, shit even today, if the "wrong" person calls me a bitch, I find myself as upset and aggessive as if someone were to call me a nigger. However, I have found over the last few years, that I use the word "bitch" for my own close friends...a term of endearment if you will. Now on the one hand I am all anti-sexism, and anti-gender norms, but all of my "girls" are my "bitches." I say the word bitch as often, if not more, than I say hello. Is this problematic...it is, right? Perhaps I need to re-evaluate it all.
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2 comments:
Damn it! I'm pissed because I just lost my original response because of this freaking computer.
Okay, so I'll give the short short version. The whole "bitch" phenomenon is just another commodification of once offensive terms by a generation that feels it is progressive and can change the meanings of things. I am also guilty of not practicing what I preach to my students, but who isn't. We tell our students to be quiet in class and pay attention but in grad classes we are only half there, falling asleep even.
Don't beat yourself up over it. I applaud teacher like us who at least want our children to have the awareness we now have, but that we also once lacked as they do.
my kids were using the word spic loosely during a review game. it was like all of a sudden, this word, which had always been charged to me, was being used by 8 boys and girls in a joke i didn't get and in a way that they thought harmless. i stopped it and told them i never wanted to hear the word again. i got a lot of confused, truly innocent looks, and was questioned about why it was so offensive. i told them that the word had a negative conotation, sort of like the n word when it's used in the wrong way. some of the kids that had been involved in the joking were surprised. it occured to me that the word may be changing just like the n word changed, that somehow it had evolved to something less harmful. nonetheless, there is no room for such language in a classroom-- i try to remind my students that they should learn to be professional with a certain type of speaking that will most be used when they get jobs.
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