So, last week I found myself doing something very odd and a bit juvenile (but hopefully not too juvenile) with my best friend. We were trying to think of how many men we have been with. Always a taboo topic, and I guess I wanna know WHY. Why can't two people who are intimate with one another sit down and have this discussion? I mean I can understand not wanting to have the discussion if the question was "How many people ARE you sleeping with?" but if the past is the past, then why is this topic "off limits?" Do we avoid the conversation because we are afraid of giving the "wrong" number or hearing the "wrong" number? The older we get, the number will inevitably grow, and if we are honest with ourselves, do any of us really want to be with someone whose number is on the lower end of the scale? Of course not. We want someone we can experiment with, have fun with, have firsts with, etc. The likelihood of all of that happening with someone who is not experienced is not as likely, at least I don't think. But really, I want to understand this. Why don't we talk about this???? Seems like it would make for interesting conversation...
I'm all for applauding women who are "hoes" (see past blog "I'm a Ho...not a Slut", but I found myself cringing when I was making up my list, mainly because there were items on that list that I want to erase or just forget about. So when making a list, how accurate do we have to be?
- Do we have to add really bad experiences (even if it was more than once)?
- Do we have to add people that we only slept with once?
- Do we get to start our list over after so many years? If so, how many years would that be?
- If I can't remember someone on the first go round of making the list, does that mean they aren't even worth adding?
Why am I even considering altering the list? On the one hand I feel as if I can be open about my number, and really not care what people think, but on the other hand, I have to wonder if I want to trim my list because I feel it is a little too long... But then again, what is too long? I'm a 28 year old single female who loves "getting down." Proud to say it, but not to count it???
4 comments:
this is a GREAT topic to be back with.
i can answer for me. i'm embarrassed at how low my number is!! now it's too late b/c i'm planning on being married to my fiance for life, but dammit if i had to do it all over again, i would have done it more often and sooner (is that a "ho" thing to say???)
WELCOME BACK!
so this is how i feel on the matter....
1. There is nothing juvenile about the topic because me and my best friend have done this. I feel like if these are your girls, by all means have the conversation because its one of those conversations that covers every emotion under the sun. Cleansing if you will. And really, if you can't tell your friends, keep it real with the people you're supposed to be turning to in times of need, then what kind of friendships do you have
2. I think people avoid the conversation because they fear judgement. But seriously, your real friends probably have numbers very similar to your own....lol...no judgement to be placed from the kettle to the pot.
3. Don't air this kind of information to many people because not everyone is accepting. I think Southern Girl is speaking specifically about people we are close with.
About making the list, these are my rules:
1. I'm all about editing. So you make a mistake and his dick is the size of a two year-old's pinky-finger....he can be erased.
2. For those that repeat bad experiences....unfortunately you have to count it because you went back for more horribleness. That totally makes rule 1 null-and-void
3.You CANNOT start over after a few years. The list simply continues to grow. This can't be like credit where after 7 years it is cleared. You can send in a grievance about mistakes on the report, but the whole report can't be wiped clean.
Don't file bankruptcy unless your pussy falls out and i doubt that will happen
3. if you don't remember, it never happened
4. It is not the size of the list, but the quality on the list. If it's hella long, make it hella good!!!!!!!
So, hmmmm....what happens if the list is kinda log, but not hella good? Can I start all over? ;)
So, I'm gonna "tally ho" for now!!!
P.S. it is good to be back. Hope you will all stay along for the ride.
first,hello.. be a bit rude to jump into a conversation and not say hello..
hmmm i try to avoid that conversation because
It is often always a precursor to discussion that rarely ends well.. I mean do you REALLY wanna know how many ppl have tasted the same pleasures as you?
if you can handle the response then hey ask away .. hopefully it can lead to deeper conversations like how and what .. and where...
personally i rather like someone that can show me something i havent seen before .. means no matter what # they are .. they have EARNED their place in my memory... hmmm that stimulates a deep thought about the person that did it just right ... but not really sure if i wanna totally discount the experience... may not remember 'em b/c they were whack (for whatever reason)...
and that magic number well hopefully it is the last one as that is the one that made you stop adding numbers .. don'cha think....
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