Awww...a crush. Something that is especially foreign for me. In my entire 26 years, 7 months, 22 days, 14 hours, and 9 minutes of living I've only experienced two real crushes. Yeah, I've liked guys from a distance, but the thing that made a crush a crush, was never really there. The first was from ages 8 until...maybe 20; and yes, it was the same guy for that entire 12 year span. He was the shit for a preadolescent, adolescent,teenager, and young adult female. Mainly he was something nice to look at...not much more as I discovered in my 20th year, or even more precisely, the 12th year of wanting someone who didn't want me, and blamed not wanting me on a little thing known as "the age factor" ;) I guess the one thing I can give him credit for is buying me bonbons on my 11th birthday, or maybe it was the 12th birthday...who can remember such trivial things =) My crush lasted as long as he (the crushed on) wasn't attainable, and when he was he wasn't all that I had imagined and fantasized about for the 12 years I was crushing on him. A bit of a disappointment...MY CRUSH, WAS A CRASH. We still remained friends, but once he allowed himself to be caught in a sense, the feeling was gone!
And now, I have another...and aside from the fact that I probably would never express this to my crush, it feels oh so good. This is a bit of a mature crush, if you will. Is that an oxymoron? Anyway, he is fabulous according to my own standards. And from the little contact I've had with him, and the more I hear about him, I almost feel like he's the male me. We seem to have a lot of things in common...some of the same bizarre likes and dislikes, and we have very similar interests. The few times that I've been in his prescence, I know I am crushing...how do I know? Because when I'm around him I'm a cluster fuck looking for the right words...the ones that will make him crush on me as well, but all of my formal and informal education and slight wit escapes me, and I'm either at a loss for words, or left with only idiotic words and phrases when responding to his questions/comments. I feel like I can't even articulate one complete sentence when I'm around him, and what makes it even worse is that creating complete logical sentences is what I teach people how to do for my own livelihood! I'm sure he thinks I'm a moron.
So what do we do about crushes? Do we keep them a secret so that we can keep the person on a pedastal for 12+ years? Or do we confront our crush? And btw, am I the only adult who still has crushes?
Oh, and for those of you who know who my crush is...don't you DARE reveal it! It's not so cute once it's known ;)
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2 comments:
well, your secret is safe with me, but aren't you too old not act on such impulses. i wonder how long crushes can continue as adults- it seems we're always bound to muck things up in the end so maybe it's better to preserve such sweet, innocent, heartthrobbings. but, then again, you never know.... that male might make a good partner in crime for creating public school revolutions and you'll never know unless you get your foot out of your mouth.
crushes are great! i'm all for them! especially spring/summer ones! it reminds of being young, flirty and frivolous! live it and love it up! but i have to agree with a few of the other postings. you should in someway act. as much as i'd like to pretend i'm a modern day mae west, able to stroll up to any man and let him have it, i'm not. but age has given me a bit more confidince to act impulsively. i mean we aren't getting any younger and it's all to easy to let our more spontaneous selves go! you are faboulous (if you weren't, i would have already told you by now)and he should know it! and if he knows it, there no way he can resist a cup of coffe or drink while in your prescence! good luck and keep us posted!
:)
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